MetNet - The Online Metropolitan Police Enforce Network

Most wanted list for prolific MP3 downloaders

the Information

REUTERS (london) - Due to the recent crack-down on online downloaders of free, illegal MP3's - that is, digital music that has not been passed by the UK Phonographic Industry and paid royalties - a list has been created to abusers of the internet to help deter future criminals.

The illegal site in question is known as PakMusic, and should be avoided at all costs.

The below list are the people that are still at large due to slow or incomplete gathering of intelligence.
It is the hope of MetNet that sound, law-abiding citizens the British Isles will keep an eye out for these fugitives of law and contact the police as soon as reasonably possible. It is not reccommended that you approach these people. They are considered to be highly derranged and may babble at you incoherently.

It's also possible that they may try to confuse you by explaining why they break the law, stating reasons that only they understand. If you are unfortunate enough to get caught 'in conversation' it is advisable to find any wieldly object - blunt or sharp - and repeatedly hit them about the face and head. You will not be prosected for such an action, as these people are not deemed to be human and therefore have no statutory rights.

the Criminals

1. Abu Hamza
   Height: 5'11"
   Weight: 83Kg
   Age: 51
   Other: Hook on right arm
   
   
   
2. Jake Preston
   Height: 5'16"
   Weight: 57Kg
   Age: 35
   Other: Smells faintly of Cabbage
   
   
   
3. Neeraj Patel
   Height: 5'10"
   Weight: 76Kg
   Age: 42
   Other: Wooden right leg
   
   
   
4. Khurram Khwaja
   Height: 5'9"
   Weight: Unknown (forever increasing)
   Age: 24
   Other: Unknown
   
   
   
5. Damien Sith
   Height: 5'6"
   Weight: 96Kg
   Age: 29
   Other: Two glass eyes
   
   
   
6. Sleepy Dogg Dog
   Height: 5'8"
   Weight: 82Kg
   Age: 33
   Other: London based rapper
   
   
   
7. Tighty McWiteshert
   Height: 5'9"
   Weight: 66Kg
   Age: 28
   Other: Appeared on the Gay Exchange advert
   
   
   
8. Michael Clark Duncan
   Height: 6'4"
   Weight: 96Kg
   Age: 38
   Other: Seen in the Green Mile
   
   
   
9. Paddy o'Brian
   Height: 5'7"
   Weight: 71Kg
   Age: 34
   Other: Super Clubcard Member of Crimewatch
   
   
   
10. Trevor MacDonald
    Height: 5'7"
    Weight: 78Kg
    Age: 52
    Other: Often appears on ITV News
    
    
    

DISCLAIMER: All writings, images, and information on this site is fictitious and of a humourous nature and should therefore not be taken seriously. The site is in no way linked to the Metropolitan Police and any reference to the law is probably incorrect. Pakmusic.com should not be considered to be illegal in any way until proper government agencies tell us otherwise (which might be never!). Any reference to PakMusic is for the amusement of various people at Khurram Khwaja's expense.